Men: Victims, Perpetrators and Allies

Conversation Guide

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America had a big secret. Women in our country are serially harassed and assaulted – especially young women. And many men didn’t know. Or men didn’t know they were doing it. And some men did/do know. Women are stepping forward. Some are blaming an individual man, some all men, some society. As men, what comes up for us personally, in response? What changes may we choose to make in how we view and treat women?

Let's Get Started!

This Living Room Conversation flows through three rounds of questions and a closing. Some rounds ask you to answer each question. Others feature multiple questions that serve as conversation starters — you need only respond to the one or two you find most interesting.

Before You Begin...

Please go over the Conversation Agreements with your participants.

Introductions: Getting Started/
Why Are We Here?

What interested you or drew you to this conversation?

Round 1: Core Values

Answer one or more of the following:
  • What sense of purpose / mission / duty guides you in your life?
  • What would your best friend say about who you are and what inspires you?
  • What are your hopes and concerns for your community and/or the country?

Round 2:

What are your thoughts on Men: Victims, Perpetrators and Allies?

Remember that the goal for this Living Room Conversation is for all of us to listen and learn about where we have different opinions and where we have shared interests, intentions and goals. Answer ​one or more of the following questions:
  • In response to the “#MeToo” movement, what are your initial thoughts about personal experiences you have had (including your own actions or
  • conduct), situations you have witnessed, and/or the recent public
  • disclosures?
  • Role as a Man — What do you consider your role to be?
  • What has informed your perception of your role (e.g., society, family, religion, education, etc.)?
  • Have youever expressed yourself sexually in a way that was unwanted by another, and/or have you experienced another doing the same to you? What is the value to you to be open to looking at these issues?

Round 3: Reflection & Next Steps

Answer ​one or more​ of the following questions:
  • In one sentence, share what was most meaningful or valuable to you in the experience of this Living Room Conversation?
  • What new understanding or common ground did you find within this topic?
  • Has this conversation changed your perception of anyone in this group, including yourself?
  • Name one important thing that was accomplished here.
  • Is there a next step you would like to take based upon the conversation you just had?

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